Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Stages Of Sadness.

I haven't been able to do very much these last few days since my precious Kitty passed away. I have found myself not only devastated and sad but angry and withdrawn as well. I know that she was just a cat but she meant so much more to me than that. As I am sure many couples without children will tell you that our pets ARE our children and she was certainly just that for me for many years.

I managed to really make things worse however, when in my grief I proceeded to attack my husband verbally for his carelessness in exiting the garage and taking her away from me. It was childish I know but the anger welling within me finally escaped my lips no matter how hard I had tried to keep it together. We have since worked things out through talking and tears and I am glad to say that we are on the mend.

I have poured myself into journaling in my written journal. I will reserve my art journal for a future time when looking at photos of my kitty is a little less painful. In the meantime making entries in my written journal has been very helpful. I write in the mornings, at night and all through the day sometimes making four or five entries at a time. It makes me appreciate what a blessing it truly is to be a woman and to be able to freely express myself in this way. I doubt there are many men out there who would allow themselves such freedom of expression during trying times so that they might envelop themselves in the comfort of their own written words.

3 comments:

  1. Cindy, I know there are those people who would think she was 'just a cat', I for one, am not one of those. I have two dogs and when the day comes that I lose them, I know I will be devestated. I am home all day, and they are here with me. While I do have grown children, my dogs are also my children...and they're the ones who are living with me right now.
    I am so sorry you are going through so much pain, but can totally understand.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope your pain will begin to ease.
    Hugs, Debi

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  2. Thank you so much for your words of comfort Debi. Your kindness is truly felt.

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  3. There will come a time when your grief is not so raw and your memories of your pet may lead you to find another companion. The shelters are full and desperate for people to rescue the little critters. With the economy in such a state of chaos the shelters are finding themselves overwhelmed. When you feel better you might consider adopting/rescuing on of these little guys...not to replace the cat you loved so much..but to sooth the loss of an old friend and give a much needed home to a new one.

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